Left Behind
by Kris10
Summary: Quistis looks back at the past, her life and her future. She discovers her feelings, and everything leads her to one conclusion... R


Left BehindLeft Behind, A Quistis Fanfic By Kristel  
By Kristel  
  
(Author's Note: The situation in this story doesn't reflect any situation in real life. If you've got a family member or friend who have killed themselves, then I'm really sorry for you, but this story is about a completely fictional character called Quistis, and as far as I know she bares no resemblance to anyone.)  
  
Quistis looked down at the knife in her hand. Yes, this was the only choice she had left. Her friends were all at the ball. They wouldn't know until the morning.  
  
"But didn't Squall say that I was one of his bestest friends only yesterday? Why isn't that enough?" She asked herself. "Why can't I be happy?" Seifer had also apologised, and those words span around in her head.  
  
"You're one of a kind Quistis. You, know, without you, I dunno, I guess everyone would be dead in the Galbadia Missile Base... And in a way, I suppose, I would have been the murderer. I guess what I mean to say is, sorry Quistis..."  
  
For some reason Quistis always felt better after talking to Seifer. Although she despised him and thought him a heartless bastard, his cold logic had always made sense to her, even when she'd been his Instructor, or when she'd been facing him in battle. She chuckled to herself, "I was once like that."  
  
Quistis thought about all the years before she had become a SeeD. Back then it had been simple, just following commands. Then she had fought Ultimercia, that had been one of the best moments in her life. She had saved the world from certain destruction, and she was extremely proud of that. No one could take that away from her. But then things had gone downhill, and memories of glory didn't help in the long run.  
  
When Quistis had returned from the future all her friends had been made either Instructors or Senior SeeD members, not to mention that Squall and Xu were both Garden Commanders. Quistis, however, had been offered nothing. She had failed as an Instructor, she wasn't assigned many missions, she was in charge of accompanying SeeD cadidates on exams, and that was all. Even Irvine, who wasn't a SeeD had been given the chance to become an Instructor.  
  
Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if Squall hadn't married Rinoa? Or if Zell, who had been the only other single male when they had fought Ultimercia, hadn't got it together with Ellone. Even Xu had Nida! Quistis wondered whether her life would get better. This certainly wasn't the way to find out. But then the report of her last mission flashed before her eyes.  
  
"I failed," she told herself. Her last mission had been to take a new SeeD and teach them how to track people. She'd taken the newbie to the forest to the East of Garden. The SeeD had died at the hands of a serial killer, and Quistis hadn't been able to help the poor boy. She'd captured the murderer, but the SeeD was still dead, as he'd followed a man's footprints into a clearing.  
  
"I'm a complete failure. No boyfriend, not fit to be an Instructor, barely a SeeD, and my friends have stopped inviting me into their plans." She raised the knife to her wrist. There was a knock at the door.  
  
Quistis jumped and dropped the knife. She looked around for it, but her hasty inspection couldn't find it anywhere. She swore loudl. There was another knock at the door, followed by a shout.  
  
"Don't swear at me Quisty! Open up!" She heard Ellone shout. Quitis walked to the door and pulled it open. Everyone was there. Squall, Rinoa, Zell, Selphie, Irvine, Seifer, Nida, Xu and Ellone, all had formed a tight friendship after the whole Ultimercia incident. Even Seifer had been accepted, as everyone had accepted his his apology, however grudgingly. They all trudged in, and Quistis's small SeeD dormitory was extremely crowded.  
  
"You aren't going to the ball?" asked Squall. He looked so worried. Quistis realised that the thudding in her heart wasn't there anymore. Her love for him had gone. She stood there blinking in amazement. "Hello? Quisty?" Quistis shook her head.  
  
"What's this? Hey! This was reported stolen yesterday!" Nida said, picking up the knife from under the bed. Quistis realised that the hilt must have beem showing from underneath the bed and cought his eye. She blushed, but only her cheeks.  
  
"I-I was-" Quistis tried to think of a hasty excuse, but she couldn't. They knew she never used a knife because she thought them clumsy and weapons that thugs carried, not trained professionals.  
  
"You weren't gonna... You weren't? I mean... Why?" Zell asked. Quistis looked out the window. Why had she?  
  
"I don't know. I guess I'm feeling left out. It's because, out of all of you, I'm the only one who hasn't changed. And even Garden has changed it's approach to me..." Quistis looked fixedly at two stars. She refuse to look at her friends.  
  
"Quisty? Maybe we don't want you to change," Quistis spun around in surprise. That wasn't like Seifer, not at all. She couldn't remember him ever calling her by her pet name "Quisty" either.  
  
"We realised we'd left you out recently. So we rushed over! C'mon get ready!" Selphie pushed her into the bathroom. Quistis was too wrapped up in her emotions to protest.  
  
* * *  
  
Quistis looked at herself in the mirror. "Great!" She thought. "I look like an over-made up old whore!" But everyone else (Xu, Rinoa, Selphie and Ellone, as the boys had gone ahead) had said she looked wonderful.  
  
She was wearing a long dress, which stopped just above her ankles. It was white and glittery. She was wearing crippling strappy stilettos and a silvery sash. She ran her fingers through her hair, getting ready to tie it up.  
  
"Nuh-uh! You're leaving your hair down Quisty!" Ellone said, grabbing Quistis's hand and pulling her out the door. Quistis wondered how long it would be before she got another chance like the last one, to commit suicide. She knew her friends would be on the look out now. Maybe they would all include her more though now?  
  
* * *  
  
"Ready for our grand entrance?" Rinoa asked. Selphie was hopping from one foot to the other. Selphie always took parties as an easy way to either humiliate people or get people to relax. Unfortunately you could never quite tell what she was going to do. Quistis was dreading having to smile for hours.  
  
"Yeah," Quistis said half-heartedly. The added to herself, "If have to do this at all." Rinoa led her in. The boys were joking around by the drinks. Irvine said something anf all of them cracked up. Squall noticed the girls first, and looked immediately worried, though the corners of his mouth were twitching. Quistis however, was captivated by Seifer's stare, it was full of emotions. Quistis found her heart beating fast.  
  
"Now you're being silly! Just becuase you don't feel anything for Squall anymore, doesn't mean you should be flirting with that evil bastard!" Quistis told herself as she walked towards the boys. Another part of her was contradicting her normal conscience.  
  
"You loved him all along! You were just so intent on being an Instructor to him that you didn't notice. And you didn't love Squall, you're like his sister. To Seifer, you're a love interest!" Quistis looked at her wrists. When choices like the one she now facedd came up, she'd rather jump off the edge of a cliff than decide.  
  
"Hi!" Zell said. Ellone hooked her arm around him. Rinoa however, had Squall cowering with embarrassment, as she went to snog him. Quistis giggled at Squall's dicomfort.  
  
"That's better," Seifer said. Quistis knew that no matter what was right or wrong, she had fallen in love. Real love this time. She smiled at him. The orchestra started up a lively tune.  
  
"You wanta dance?" He asked her. Quistis pretended to think about it. Suddenly she was aware that everyone was staring at her.  
  
"What?" She asked, nervously smoothing her hair.  
  
"You're considering dancing with him, yet usually you only give him the occasional distastefull look!" Squall replied. Quistis giggled again.  
  
"You danced with Rinoa, you didn't even know her name! Anyway, I don't hate Seifer. I just think he was an arrogant sod. And was a pain in the backside while we were facing Ultimercia," Quistis realised she was contradicting what she'd been saying for the passed few years. Squall raised an eyebrow but said nothing.  
  
"Well?" Seifer asked. There was an odd look of hurt in his eyes. Quistis smiled at him and let him lead her onto the dancefloor. She let him lead and soon was completely confident on the dance floor. The the tune stopped.  
  
"Want to hit the punch?" Seifer asked. Then added, "No pun intended." He was already turning and started to walk off the dance floor. A slow song started. Quistis realised that, out of all the chances she'd missed, she wouldn't miss this one. She'd let Squall slip away, that had been one of her biggest regrets but there were others. She'd never been kissed, she'd never danced slowly with a boy before with a guy she liked, and she'd never been loved in return. But she would make Seifer dance with her, she would seize this chance.  
  
"I want to dance," She called after him. He stopped and turned around. She looked at him briefly, but knew if she looked at him too long she'd turn into jello, and that wouldn't be very attractive. He seemed torn between the callings of the punch or dancing with Quistis.  
  
"Please?" Quitis said sweetly. Seifer sighed and pulled her into him. Quistis felt her heart beat so fast she thought she was going to have a heart attack. She leaned her head onto Seifer's chest. She heard his heart beating almost as fast as her own. She only dared hope... The dance was over all too fast for Quistis and Seifer disappeared. She spent the next hour and a half sulking by the punch.  
  
"You expected too much. You should know by now that you're never going to have a boyfriend. You're always going to be the same old Quistis, the boring old spinster." She wandered to the hall's balcony. She stared out at the stars. She remembered a conversation she'd had when she was small. She couldn't remember who she had been speaking to, but that didn't bother her, she had forgotten her past completely until a Irvine had come along.  
  
"My mom's up there," Quisty had said. The other child had replied:  
  
"I don't see her?"  
  
"She's a star, silly!"  
  
"Are my mommy and daddy up there too Quisty?"  
  
"Yep! They are right next to my mom and dad! They're watching over you!"  
  
"Sorry I put a slug in Zell's shoe mommy."  
  
"Hee hee hee! They are replying. We'll just have to wait until we're asleep to hear them!"  
  
Quistis looked up at the two stars that were her parents and wondered. "Are you proud of me? Do you even love me? Do you approve of Seifer? Would you have let me join Garden?"  
  
"I remember you telling me that my parents were in the stars," someone said from behind her. Quistis turned around slowly. Seifer was standing in the doorway, with a very attractive smile on his face. Quistis didn't know what to say.  
  
"I always found it comforting to believe they were there at first. But then I realised that they'd see everything I did. I grew afraid they'd disapprove, so I saet my heart on making sure I never put a foot wrong, hence the disaplinary commitee." He ran his hand through his hair, and looked into Quistis's eyes.  
  
"Then Ultimercia showed up. She said she could help me change the past. I wanted to bring my parents back to life so badly, that I forfeited everything. Luckily Edea understood, so I was let back into Garden..." He trailed off into thought. Quistis had never known Seifer to be so open. SHe smiled at him.  
  
"If you had told me this when I was an Instructor I'd have understood. The only reason you didn't become a SeeD was because of your attitude problem. But I guess I was the same..." Seifer was still looking at her. She turned and leaned against the balcony wal. If she was going to kill herself, now was the perfect oppurtunity. She'd plumet to the ground, and if she missed Garden's rotating blades then she'd hit the ground with so much fore that she'd die most definately.  
  
"You said all that stuff about changing earlier. And what I said was only partly true. I don't want you to change. You're beautiful as you are... Uh... I mean... Er?" He coughed and blushed. Quistis smiled, and was glad he couldn't see her blush.  
  
"I'm glad you said that," Quistis said. She longed to say more, but knew that if she did then she'd spoil the moment. She wanted to say she loved him, but that might not be what he meant.  
  
"I-I need to know something. Quisty? I need you to look at me," He said. Quistis turned and realised he was right behind her. Her eyes locked with his. She felt a thrill as he moved his hand to her cheek, and down to her neck. Then he snapped out of his thoughts.  
  
"I love you Quisty," Seifer told her. She felt her heart soar. She managed to fight down an attack of the giggles. Instead she looked up into his eyes. "I always have done. It's just I-I-" Quistis didn't want to know. She placed her finger on his lips and ran it onto his cheek. Gently she kissed him, and a warm fuzziness filled her heart. Seifer pulled her into a more passionate kiss. She heard giggling.  
  
"Selphie! Seph! Get a load of this! Seifer and Qustis are KISSING!" They heard Irvine shout.  
  
"Yeah, proper kissing!" Rinoa shouted. Quistis knew that the whole hall would be aware now, and she cringed. Seifer was standing with his arms around her waist, a look of sadness on his face.  
  
"You regret it now people have found out, don't you?" He asked. Quistis laughed.  
  
"Oh no, I was just thinking about a way to explain everything to everyone. But I suppose that can wait. Want to go back in?" Quistis looked up into his eyes. Seifer smiled and took her hand. He led her inside and they were surrounded by people.  
  
"Why didn't you tell us?" asked Selphie excitiedly. Quistis just waved her hand. Edea was pushing through the crowd. Quistis was wallowing in happiness too much to be bothered. "I'm not a lonely spinster! I'm not going to have to slit my wrists!"  
  
"Quistis! There you are. Squall told me about the incident earlier. We did offer you a job, it must have got lost on the way to you. We want you to be an Instructor for us," Edea said. Shewas beaming at Quistis, and Quistis smiled back. She looked to Seifer and all her friends.  
  
"If it's all the same to you Matron, then I won't. I'm giving up Garden. I think there are other things for me to concentrate on now. I'll still be around Garden, but I won't be going on missions any more. I'm not happy with the endless killing. I hope you understand." With those words, Quistis pushed passed her astonished friends and Edea. Seifer, who was grinning, bowed, and followed her.  
  
* * *  
  
Quistis looked around the room in the Balamb Hotel. She saw Seifer struggling upstairs with her bags and ran over to help him. She left the bags unpacked and kissed Seifer. And as she moved to the bed he smiled.  
  
"I've wanted this so long..."  
  
* * *  
  
Quistis was at the end of her tether. She was so glad that Ma Dincht had offered to look after the little brats for her. "However did I bring them up to be such spoiled creatures?" She thought to herself. Irva and Kaitlin were twins, and they were both a handful, and it seemed that Quistis's hands were smaller than most.  
  
"Ah! I didn't spoil them. But I bet I can name who did!" She told herself. Seifer was on the floor of their Balamb home tickling them both. Quistis smiled and crept up behind Seifer. She began tickling him and the girls joined in.  
  
From the outside, it could have been any normal family. Only once you knew their story, would you understand how extraordinary it was that they were together. But Quistis and Seifer were thankful, because, although they lost lots, they gained each other, and what they had now was priceless...   
  
  
  
Home 


End file.
